Ask not what your parents can do for you...ask what you can do for your parents!

It's not always easy for me to watch my children growing up. It's bittersweet because even though I am incredibly proud of the people I see them becoming, I'm feel nostalgic for the sweet, cuddly toddlers they used to be. I find that I love each stage...especially after they pass through it. The teen years we are experiencing now aren't all bad. There are definite benefits, such as being able to send your teenaged son to the grocery store to buy milk!


I am proud of the man and woman that I can see my little boy and little girl becoming. They are strong and moral and smart. They make good choices. They're good kids. 


So, even though it sometimes makes me sad to see my sweet little babies...

turning into these confident, amazing almost-adults...

I'm OK with it. Really. Because, even though it's bittersweet, it's right. 

I'm proud of them. They don't drink or do drugs. They're not promiscuous. The Princess dresses modestly. They're honest and they have values and I trust them. They are good kids.

But, do you want to know what makes me really sad?

I was looking at some old class photos of The Boy's. from kindergarten and first grade. And as I gazed at those sweet, innocent little faces of children he has grown up with I realized that not all of those children have had the same story.

Just as children within the same family can turn out vastly different, so can children from the same school and the same class. The Boy began his school years at a very small, private school. He has known the same kids since pre-school and still attends high school with many of them. 

As I looked at those photos and gazed into those innocent little faces, I realized that I was looking into several faces of future promiscuity and alcohol and drug abuse - by the 9th or 10th grade. And that almost broke my heart.

I have watched these children grow up. I was room mom and did lunch duty and volunteered. I drove those children on field trips and helped make applesauce on Johnny Appleseed Day.  These are sweet children. They're not bad kids...but some of them are certainly making some bad choices.

I am so thankful that The Boy and The Princess are making good choices. Partly, I'm sure it's just luck. And partly, I'm sure it's a healthy dose of fear. Because my kids know two things. (1) I WILL find out and (2) when I do, their whole world will come screeching to a big, fat halt. Just like that.  

The Boy tells me stories of kids at his school who have been escorted home from parties drunk or stoned by the cops...and then a couple of weeks later the parents will give the child a brand new, and very expensive, car for their birthday. These kids all have the newest iphones and ipads and toys and gadgets.

It absolutely boggles my mind.

We are not those kind of parents.

We're the kind of parents that tell our children "no." Often.

We are the kind of parents that take privileges, such as cell phones and computers, away for poor grades or behavior or messy rooms. The kids think we are too strict. We've been told that we are mean.

We don't care.

I like to paraphrase John F. Kennedy when the kids complain that we are mean or old fashioned. I tell them, "Ask not what your parents can do for you...ask what YOU can do for your parents!" The kids don't seem to like that little saying quite as much as Mr. Wonderful and I do!

Oh well. So far, that philosophy (plus a lot of luck...and a little fear) seems to be working out. Don't misunderstand - we have no idea what we're doing. We're winging it. Completely. I'm certainly not trying to tell anyone else how to raise their children. We've been lucky. But I do think our job is to be their parents...not to try to be their friend.

Happy Halloween

Because today is Halloween, yet my children are now teenagers and therefore too old for dressing up and trick-or-treating (which breaks my heart just a teeny, tiny bit and of course it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that they won't be bringing home any more chocolate candy for moi!), I thought I'd take a look back at their costumes through the years.


I learned a few things as I searched high and low for the elusive Halloween photos.


The first thing I learned is that I really, really need to sit my butt down and go through my boxes and boxes of old photos and get them organized. Because I took pictures of the kids every year - every. single. year. - and yet there are missing photos of Halloween costumes. Which is extremely frustrating.

I learned that my photography skills have definitely improved as the years have gone by!

I also learned that while I may like to remember the costumes that I made and created, the reality is that apparently I bought an awful lot of tacky costumes in the store.

In my defense though, I think I remember a couple of adorable Raggedy Ann and Andy costumes and a couple of kids who threw fits because they HAD to be Darth Vader and Laa Laa and a stressed out mommy who burst into tears of frustration and said, "FINE!" and capitulated. Gracefully, of course.

I learned that sometimes it might be better to just buy the stupid, tacky store bought costumes than to create costumes from outfits grandparents brought back from Chinatown.

Because you just might end up with a photograph of unhappy children that looks like a mug shot.

I learned that when your son reads Master and Commander in the fourth grade and is determined to base his Halloween costume on the character in the novel, it will be expensive. Even when you only rent the costume, it will be expensive.

(But oh so cute!)

I realized that the apple truly has not fallen far from the tree!

And I learned that some costumes are awfully predictable. Or perhaps this is more of the apple not falling far from the tree?

I learned that I miss the excitement of getting on costumes. I miss trying to get the kids to eat something semi-healthy before they head out the door to ring doorbells and shout "Trick or Treat" and giggle uncontrollably in excitement with their friends.  

I miss seeing that sparkle in their eyes and the enjoyment they got out of pretending to be something amazing for one evening - whether it was a pilot, or a sparkly, purple fairy, or Darth Vader or Laa Laa, or even Chinese criminals getting their mug shot taken. 

I miss it. 

And, yes, I miss the leftover chocolate candy too!

72 Hours

The past 72 hours have been busy ones.


I insisted allowed The Princess to drive down the driveway. She doesn't have her learner's permit yet, but we thought it would be a good idea to let her start to get used to the feel of the brake and gas pedals - on private property without any other cars around!

Don't worry. This wasn't stressful or dramatic at all. The Princess didn't squeal in terror or start giggling uncontrollably or almost start hyperventilating at the mere thought of the excessive speeds she was going (3 mph!!) Naturally, she has been paying attention as we taught her brother to drive and so knew which was the gas and which was the brake pedal already. And naturally she already knew such things as to keep her foot on the brake before trying to put the car in gear. Naturally. Really. It was a piece of cake.

It was so easy, in fact, that I am going to let her father teach her to drive from now on. I think he'll really enjoy it, too. And you know how I am - I don't like to hog all the parenting joy. 

My BFF and I went to Costco on Friday. She has never been to Costco before. Can you believe that? She filled her cart up with all of the usual wonderful Costco delicacies and her three constantly ravenous teenagers were, apparently, quite happy.

The kids carved pumpkins for the Halloween party they were planning to have...

However, when the kids woke up on Saturday they both had sore throats and didn't feel well...plus a bunch of their friends were sick as well, so they decided to cancel the party.

They rested all day. And then, apparently they started feeling a bit better because they started rummaging through the old Halloween costumes...

I wasn't quite sure what The Boy was supposed to be. I asked him and he said, "Cool."

Hmm. Okay...

That's not a fake beard. It's grass. And that's a dinosaur on his forehead and a sun on one cheek and a lizard on the other.

He explained it all to me.

Isn't he...original?

And wonderful?

I love that kid.

The Princess transformed herself into a cat...

And she really got into character...she was grooming herself...

And then she snarled at me!!

The Princess with her inspiration, Jack!

It was quite entertaining. 

We had Smorgasbord Soup (my name for the fabulous culinary masterpiece which results when I combine the leftovers in the freezer into a savory soup) and then the kids built a fire in the fire pit and sat outside and talked.

I don't know what they talked about...I could only hear the murmur of their voices over the crackling of the fire and the incessant meowing of a hungry (Feed me! Feed me!) kitty. But it makes me so happy that my kids are friends. Deep down, under the squabbling, they like each other. They're best friends. 

And THAT makes me smile.

A Glimpse Behind the Sunrise (aka My Kids Are Slobs!)

I enjoy the sunrises on the lake. In fact, I savor them. Mother Nature is clean and soothing in her perfection. I relish the simplicity and wonder of the sun's reflection on the calm, placid water. I soak up the tranquility.

Because then I turn around and I see that one of my dear, precious children was apparently eating outside and decided to just drop a paper towel. And leave it.

We had a few nights of chilly temperatures and The Boy had to bring his bird, Buddy, inside for the evening. Look at this photo - you can see exactly where The Boy set Buddy's cage. You know, several days ago. And you can still see the bird seed scattered all over the floor. I'm sure that it would only take a moment to sweep that bird seed up. I know that I've only asked The Boy to do it a few (hundred) times.

And then I found this in the freezer. Look closely. Can you see it?

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Yep. That's an empty container. Someone ate the last granola bar and then put an empty container back in the freezer.

Then there's the table. 

1. One of The Boy's school books

2. The Boy's camera

3. A cup and spoon

4. The Boy's laptop

5. Random papers, which I really hope is not homework which was due today.

On the other side of the table I find The Princess's towel. Apparently, she got out of the shower and walked around with the towel wrapped around her head until she felt her hair was sufficiently dry, whereupon she dropped the towel on the floor and left it there.

And then there is the laundry.

You see, I have been trying to get the dear, wonderful teenagers to do their own laundry. To become more responsible. To help out.

Perhaps you're wondering how that little endeavor is working out?

Not so well, actually.

The dear, precious little cherubs tend to dump the laundry on the couch, root through for one or two items and then leave the rest there. "I'll do it later" they tell me. Except later never seems to arrive. And the pile keeps growing and growing.

I try to ignore it. After all, it's not MY laundry, right? But I'll let you in on a little secret...that pile of laundry is about to disappear. I'm going to take care of it for them, all right. Oh yes, I am. It's going in a big ol' bag and getting dropped off at Salvation Army.

Anyway...do you see why I love those peaceful, calm, tranquil sunrises so much?