We are not "normal!"

Mr. Wonderful and I have been trying to convince The Princess to change schools. She attends a performing arts high school in another county. This school is 45 minutes away in good traffic. If the traffic is bad, it can take anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half to drive to or from the school...and that is not including the many times she has to stay late to make up a dance class or attend rehearsals. The Princess leaves our house at 6:45 every morning and doesn't get home until 4:30. On days when she has dance classes, she doesn't get home until around 8:30 or 9:00. 


It's a lot. We see her becoming grumpy and irritable. Heck, we see ourselves becoming grumpy and irritable! 


So we've been trying to convince her that her life (and ours, ahem!) would be so much easier if she switched to a local school. We enlisted The Boy's help in singing the praises of the local school, which he attends.


Unfortunately, our little endeavor at persuasion didn't work so well. The Princess loves her school. It is filled with artistic, sightly quirky kids. She loves the fact that she can arrive at school and find a string quarter playing in the courtyard. She loves the random pieces of art scattered around the school. And most of all, she loves being able to dance during the school day. Our sweet little Princess turned into an angry porcupine when we tried to convince her that her life would be better and easier if she changed schools.

The Princess sobbed. She glowered and stuck her lower lip out like a silly monkey.

The Boy tried to tell her the good things about his school - football games, pep rallies, and so on.

The Princess wasn't impressed.

He told her that she could be on the dance team.

Hmmph! She snorted derisively. "That's not REAL dancing!"

(It's not classical ballet.)

We asked her what she had against The Boy's school. She curled her lip scornfully and explained, "It's just so...normal." Her face was filled with disgust at the horrible thought of a school filled with normal kids.

She likes the fact that some of her best friends are gay. She likes the fact that everyone is different and that different is normal.

She is appalled at the concept of attending school with "plastic, superficial people who are focused on makeup, clothes and tanning. Ugh!"

Sadly, The Boy and Mr. Wonderful (and maybe me too, just a teeny tiny bit) began to tease The Princess. The conversation became more and more outlandish. The Princess was still an angry little porcupine and was NOT amused by the quips and one-liners.

I'll leave you with a little example of how the dinner conversation and attempts at persuasion went. Please, please, please - do not be offended by what is said. You have to understand that my family is...well, sort of odd and quirky. Which kind of explains why The Princess feels so comfortable at her odd and quirky school. 

In the video, The Boy is comparing the students at The Princess's school to penguins. Mr. Wonderful, as usual, takes the conversation in a complete other direction...

That's what I've been - I say, that's what I've been telling you, boy! I am a chicken

The Boy had a little job this afternoon, doing a favor for a friend. The rest of the family stopped by to...you know, offer him our support. 


Because we're supportive like that.

The fact that there was a dunking booth and free food and wine (it was a promotion for Rex-Goliath Wines) had absolutely nothing to do with our show of support. C'mon, be honest - if your son dressed up as a giant rooster and waved at cars and gave people hugs - wouldn't you be go take pictures and laugh be supportive, too?

That's a joke, I say that's a joke, son!

I made a funny, son, and you're not laughin'!

His muscles are as soggy as a used tea bag.

I say, boy, pay attention when I'm talkin' to ya, boy!

That, I say that boy's just like a tattoo, gets under your skin.

Pay attention to me, boy! I'm not just talkin' to hear my head roar!

That, I say that's dog's busier than a centipede in a toe countin' contest!

Now I say, who's responsible for this unwarranted attack on my person?

This boy's more mixed up than a feather in a whirlwind!

That boy's like taxes, he just don't know when to stop!

Look sister, is any of this filterin' through that little blue bonnet of yours?

Stop, I say stop it boy, you're doin' a lot of choppin' but no chips are flyin'!

This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!

Mr. Wonderful enjoyed the free wine, The Princess enjoyed laughing at her brother, a couple of the rooster's favorite chicks stopped by to visit, and Mommie Dearest enjoyed herself immensely taking photos and finding these great quotes. Which I imagine no one under the age of 40 will have a clue about! 

(PS. Mr. Wonderful tells me that no one is going to get my witty quotes from Foghorn Leghorn. *sigh* So the attached video is for those of you who don't have a clue who Foghorn Leghorn is.)

Thnkfl Thrsdy: Txtng w/ Teens

I have mixed emotions about the month of May. I love the weather - nice and warm, but not hurricane season. I'm excited about the kids getting out of school and about summer vacation.


But.


Every year I dread May because of the end of the year craziness which I know will shortly overwhelm me. Final exams, SAT/ACT exams, auditions for summer ballet intensives, recitals, AP exams, and so on and so forth. At least my days of being "room mom" and organizing end of the year class parties and teacher gifts are behind me!


Anyway, that's what has been going on around here. Prepping for SAT/ACT exams next month. The Boy has been studying for AP exams this week and next. The Princess has been stressing about some auditions and her End of Course Exams for Geometry and Biology. There have been colds and allergies and PMS and teenage attitudes. And to top it all off the pets, in spite of being on flea prevention medication, have fleas. Our inside pets. Lucy goes outside to do her business and Jack has never been outside in his life. And they've been scratching like crazy. Which makes me start to get twitchy and feel itchy and annoyed. Welcome to Florida, y'all. I think every few years the fleas start to build up an immunity to the flea medication. So, I suppose I need to schedule a visit to the veterinarian and find out if there are any new miracle meds available for those darned things.


In the midst of all the hustling and bustling around, there is one thing which always brings a smile to my face almost every day...


The silly little texts I get from the kids.


I should point out that neither of the kid's schools allows cell phones or texting during school hours. I should probably be a bit more concerned about them blatantly breaking these rules, right? But...well...honestly, I just don't care. I love hearing from them. I enjoy The Princess telling me how irritated she is with Romeo and Juliet...

And I love The Boy trying to out-joke me (impossible!)

I love the verbose messages from The Boy letting me know he has arrived safely at school (and I love how good he is about letting me where he is - having a teenaged driver is scary!)

And the random "I'm bored" messages he sends throughout the day.

And I love the Princess's random texts letting me know she loves me and is thinking about me...

I used to be afraid of allowing the kids to have cell phones. I hated seeing (OK, truthfully, I still do) kids staring at cell phones with their thumbs furiously attacking the keyboard as they sent their enormously important texts.

But...I'm beginning to have a slightly different outlook!!

Flashback Friday: The more things change, the more they stay the same

The Princess has a BFF. You've seen her appear on this blog before - I call her "The Court-i-nator." 


What you may not know about The Princess and The Court-i-nator is that they have been best friends for a long, long time. Since they were three years old. From the moment they met in pre-school, they've been pretty much inseparable. 

The girls practically grew up at each other's houses. They know every thing about each other...from their mutual admiration of The Little Mermaid to Barney and Humpty Dumpty and Harry Potter. They've giggled and argued and cried. They've watched so many movies so many times that they recite movie lines to each other. All the time.

The photos I posted above are a bit misleading though.

While they might look sweet and innocent and angelic in the photos I posted...

The reality was a bit more like this photo. 

Silly and mischievous.

The Court-i-nator's mother (who, coincidentally, is my BFF) and I used to laugh about how we'd really start to worry when they girls got quiet - because we knew we'd discover that they had gotten into mischief. Like the time The Court-i-nator spent the night and it got really quiet and I started hearing whispering coming from the bathroom. I called to them and asked what they were doing. "Nothing" was the reply those two naughty little 4 year olds gave. I was suspicious though, and went to check on them.

What I discovered was that the two little cherubs had decided to wash all of the Princess's Barbie dolls' hair. In the sink. With an entire bottle of shampoo. It created quite a sudsy mess, which the little darlings attempted to clean up with what appeared to be an entire roll of toilet paper. Which was all over the bathroom. In wet, sodden, sudsy clumps. Everywhere. There were clumps on the wall. There were clumps all over the ceiling. There were even sodden lumps of toilet paper on the ceiling - I've never quite figured out how THAT happened. And there were lots and lots of lumps of wet toilet paper clogging the drain...as the water continued to run and create more shampoo suds...which overflowed from the sink...

Oh, cleaning that mess up was a lot of fun.

They were both artistic and loved to draw. Everywhere. Walls, rugs, themselves - it didn't really matter. They were notorious for getting out every single toy in the house and creating a disaster zone in mere minutes.

I thought the girls had outgrown this. I didn't think I needed to become concerned when they got quiet - since they are now both 15 and quite grown up. 

I was wrong.

Last weekend I discovered that the girls were bored and so decided to give themselves "tattoos."

Then the next morning while I was sipping my coffee, I heard lots of giggling and thumping noises coming from the hallway where I discovered this...

I apologize for the blurriness and poor quality of the photo. 

Apparently, I was giggling too hard to get a good photo.

It seems that The Court-i-nator had wrapped The Princess up in her comforter and stuck an apple in her mouth. She was an inchworm, you see. 

The Princess was laughing too hard to keep the apple in her mouth but was making a valiant effort to "inch" down the hallway.

Do you know what the really sad/funny thing is?

I find it oddly reassuring.

I'm quite confident that no matter how old these two girls get, they'll always be able to giggle together and create a bit of mischief. 

How to make a Princess deliriously happy in three easy steps

The kids and I, plus The Princess's BFF "The Court-i-nator", spent the day at the Riverside Arts Market. It was a beautiful, sunny day with a lovely breeze off the river and we had a fabulous time!

We wandered around a bit and admired the art work and crafts and then we had to make a decision about what to eat. The Boy opted for fried shrimp and The Court-i-nator for a hotdog. The Princess and I couldn't decide...until we spied this booth...

Crepes? Yes, please!!

The Princess got ham and cheese...

and I got chicken, spinach and feta.

We all met down by the river and enjoyed our little repast (the crepes were tres bien!) and listened to the music (also tres bien!)

The girls went to find something sweet to eat.

They came back with a funnel cake.

Oh my!

Tres bien, indeed!

After we ate lunch we walked around a bit more. We saw lots of cute pooches - a Polish Lowland Sheepdog that looked like a ball of fluff, an Akita, a Goldendoodle, and a gorgeous Newfoundland. The Newfie was very sweet but, sadly, a wee bit stinky. After petting him, my hands stunk. Blech!

And then The Princess saw a booth with "magic" wands. She was like a kid in a candy store. She begged and cajoled and batted her baby blues but I found it remarkably easy to decline the offer of spending $20 to buy her a "magic" wand. 

I know, I know. I'm the meanest mom in the world.

Thankfully, she then spotted the palm reader (thank goodness this was free!) and just like that, her attention was diverted. She convinced the BFF to have her palms read at the same time...

She even convinced her brother to give it a go!

I'm sorry to report that I didn't hear a lot of the palm reading because I was too busy taking photos.

But when we saw the handwriting analysis booth, I paid a bit more attention...

I don't want to give away all the kid's secrets, but let me just say that she was GOOD. Really good. Spot on! I even had mine done. Naturally, she said that my handwriting revealed that I was awesome in every way. 

Well, duh!

When The Princess saw a man making balloon animals with an elephant (her favorite animal) on his head, she was smitten once again. She forgot all about being a 15 year old and waited in line with all of the little kids.

The Boy and I decided to head over to the Farmer's Market area. I bought lovely melons, tomatoes, celery, onions, strawberries, cucumbers and the biggest zucchini I've ever seen in my life!

We went to meet the girls and found The Princess wearing her balloon elephant hat...

She was as happy as a pig in...well, you know how the saying goes.