Once upon a time...

Once upon a time ago, a long time ago in a land far, far away up north, a southern girl became a mommy to a beautiful, precious baby boy. This southern girl didn't really know what she was doing and she didn't have an owner's manual so she just did the best she could and she just loved that little boy and tried to teach him to be a proper little southern gentleman. This wasn't always easy in the harsh, cold northern climate which lacked grits and ma'ams and y'alls.

The novice mommy tried to teach her little boy to say please and thank you and was constantly told that he didn't have to say that. She told him to say it anyway. She taught him to say yes ma'am and no ma'am and yes sir and no sir and she was constantly told that he shouldn't say that either. People told her that it was demeaning to children and repressive and stifling to their individuality. The new mommy ignored the naysayers and continued to try to teach her little boy good manners. It wasn't easy.

People told her, to her face, that her child seemed  sad or unhappy. 

She was told that she was too strict and that she was mean and that she was too rigid and had too many rules.

The mommy persevered. Her husband, even though he was a yankee, was supportive and wonderful. When someone told him that the mommy was going to break the little boy's spirit he laughed and told them that the little boy wasn't a horse and would be just fine. The mommy and the wonderful yankee daddy were a team and they loved their little boy.

Many years passed and they little boy grew. He learned many things and grew strong and tall. He giggled and laughed and played. He learned manners and always said please and thank you and sir and ma'am. He opened doors for ladies and (usually, almost always) took off his hat in the house. He was funny and charming. And he had spirit. He had a LOT of spirit. One could almost say that the little boy had an over abundance of spirit, in fact.

Break THAT spirit? I think not!!

If anyone ever needed further proof that the little boy's spirit had indeed not been broken, the mommy could point to The Boy's latest facebook status:

"I'm putting the stud back in studying."

As a matter of fact, if the new mommy (who is now an old mommy) wanted to be ugly about it she could waggle her finger at all the naysayers who said that teaching her boy to say ma'am and sir was repressive and would break his spirit and who tried to undermine her parenting and she could say, "I told you so!!"

But she would never do something like that.

That would be tacky. 

A big pizza pie...

I don't really have a lot to say today. I'm still feeling a bit MEH and it's Saturday which means that only 2.3 of you will even stop by here to read this anyway. Plus I'm tired. I got up early (well, for a Saturday!) and took the Princess to dance and went to Target and bought shampoo and deodorant and "hair stuff" for The Boy (his term) and other essential items like that. And it's COLD here. You know, for Florida. It was in the 40's this morning!! 


So, here's what I want to say. To ask, really...

DID YOU SEE THE MOON LAST NIGHT?!


It was really incredibly bright. And pretty. And awesome.
That's all. I just wanted to make sure y'all saw it.


Because as The Princess would say, it was "pretty snazzy."

Thankful Thursday...

I'm thankful today for my husband who has been so helpful this week while I have been moping around not feeling well. He's made dinners and driven the kids around and let me lie around feeling sorry for myself. He is a sounding board for things that are bothering me, he is always supportive and he truly is my best friend. We have been together for almost a quarter of a century and I cannot imagine my life without him.

I'm thankful for my children. For, while they are certainly not perfect, they are kind, generous, loving, smart, tender, thoughtful, caring and affectionate. I often beat myself up as a parent - but when I look at these children who are turning into such considerate and thoughtful and kind individuals - I think that we must be doing something right!

I am, still, SO thankful for my little Honda Insight. I love my car. I love getting 45-50 miles per gallon. I. Love. It. Mr. Wonderful and The Boy can scoff at my little car and call it the Anteater all they want. I don't care. I love my car.

And finally, I'm thankful we are planning an anti-Thanksgiving this year. We are going to the beach. No family (other than the four of us). No pets. No turkey. No cooking. We are relaxing and walking on the beach and ordering Chinese...and I cannot tell you how excited I am about that. I am looking forward to it like the kids used to look forward to a visit from Santa Claus. It sounds like heaven on earth. I can't wait to feel the sand between my toes and hear the sound of the surf and the cries of the gulls. I yearn for the peaceful feeling of having absolutely nothing to do for a few days - no telephones ringing, no bills in the mail, no laundry, no pets to be fed...aaahhhh....the anti-Thanksgiving. I can't wait!

This week...

A milestone of sorts occurred. We let The Boy drive himself to school. He did well. He had to text or call every time he arrived or departed - from school, or from the grocery store where I had him stop on the way home to pick up milk and bread (bonus!!) and he remembered every single time. I was always quite happy and relieved to receive his text message stating, "I'm still alive."

He decided that the kids at the school are scary drivers however, and now he likes to leave quite early to avoid most of the crowd and the rushing. He'd rather take his time and arrive early than deal with the craziness. I don't blame him!

It was my week to drive carpool to The Princess's school. 

There's not much more to say about that...except that the Air Show was this weekend and Friday as we were driving home from school we saw the Blue Angels flying overhead. The Princess tried to get some pictures while I drove and tried to watch out for the other cars on the bridge - it was a bit nerve wracking as every single driver I encountered was peering overhead at those jets instead of focusing on their driving!

Saturday, it was overcast and chilly and so I decided to make chili. The Boy wanted to know if he could invite a friend over and since we are such amazingly cool and awesome parents, we said he could. Then he and his...friend...built a fire in the firepit and...talked. The Princess sat outside in her official role as chaperone little sister and kept them company. I decided to go outside and pretend to take some pictures of the really cool looking moon. And then, since I was already outside with my camera, I decided to snap some photos...umm, of the fire. It was a very impressive fire. Sadly, my camera was apparently on some weird setting which was not conducive to the dark and smoky conditions. My apologies.

I realize that these are really, really terrible photos. The Boy is wearing athletic shorts, a long sleeved polo shirt, dark socks and topsiders. 

Trust me, I'm as speechless as I'm sure you are.

And I have no explanation. He's an original, that boy. He marches to his own beat. Or his own drummer. Or something like that.

What can I tell you? I pick my battles...

Ask not what your parents can do for you...ask what you can do for your parents!

It's not always easy for me to watch my children growing up. It's bittersweet because even though I am incredibly proud of the people I see them becoming, I'm feel nostalgic for the sweet, cuddly toddlers they used to be. I find that I love each stage...especially after they pass through it. The teen years we are experiencing now aren't all bad. There are definite benefits, such as being able to send your teenaged son to the grocery store to buy milk!


I am proud of the man and woman that I can see my little boy and little girl becoming. They are strong and moral and smart. They make good choices. They're good kids. 


So, even though it sometimes makes me sad to see my sweet little babies...

turning into these confident, amazing almost-adults...

I'm OK with it. Really. Because, even though it's bittersweet, it's right. 

I'm proud of them. They don't drink or do drugs. They're not promiscuous. The Princess dresses modestly. They're honest and they have values and I trust them. They are good kids.

But, do you want to know what makes me really sad?

I was looking at some old class photos of The Boy's. from kindergarten and first grade. And as I gazed at those sweet, innocent little faces of children he has grown up with I realized that not all of those children have had the same story.

Just as children within the same family can turn out vastly different, so can children from the same school and the same class. The Boy began his school years at a very small, private school. He has known the same kids since pre-school and still attends high school with many of them. 

As I looked at those photos and gazed into those innocent little faces, I realized that I was looking into several faces of future promiscuity and alcohol and drug abuse - by the 9th or 10th grade. And that almost broke my heart.

I have watched these children grow up. I was room mom and did lunch duty and volunteered. I drove those children on field trips and helped make applesauce on Johnny Appleseed Day.  These are sweet children. They're not bad kids...but some of them are certainly making some bad choices.

I am so thankful that The Boy and The Princess are making good choices. Partly, I'm sure it's just luck. And partly, I'm sure it's a healthy dose of fear. Because my kids know two things. (1) I WILL find out and (2) when I do, their whole world will come screeching to a big, fat halt. Just like that.  

The Boy tells me stories of kids at his school who have been escorted home from parties drunk or stoned by the cops...and then a couple of weeks later the parents will give the child a brand new, and very expensive, car for their birthday. These kids all have the newest iphones and ipads and toys and gadgets.

It absolutely boggles my mind.

We are not those kind of parents.

We're the kind of parents that tell our children "no." Often.

We are the kind of parents that take privileges, such as cell phones and computers, away for poor grades or behavior or messy rooms. The kids think we are too strict. We've been told that we are mean.

We don't care.

I like to paraphrase John F. Kennedy when the kids complain that we are mean or old fashioned. I tell them, "Ask not what your parents can do for you...ask what YOU can do for your parents!" The kids don't seem to like that little saying quite as much as Mr. Wonderful and I do!

Oh well. So far, that philosophy (plus a lot of luck...and a little fear) seems to be working out. Don't misunderstand - we have no idea what we're doing. We're winging it. Completely. I'm certainly not trying to tell anyone else how to raise their children. We've been lucky. But I do think our job is to be their parents...not to try to be their friend.