Sometimes, when the animals are particularly annoying, I even refer to them as "the *@*# dog/cat/bird."
Let me tell you about the *@*# dog.
Last night we all noticed a foul odor in the house. Really foul. Disgusting, even. It was terrible. We were all walking around with our noses wrinkled up in disgust trying to determine what the foul stench was and where it was coming from.
It was coming from THE DOG.
You see, we live on the water. There are a lot of ospreys and eagles around. Occasionally, the birds drop fish in our yard. Guess who apparently found one of the dead fish and rolled in it?
Can you guess who slept outside last night?
Can you guess who whined and barked and carried on like a big, hairy baby all night long and kept me awake?
Can you guess who will be shampooing carpet and mopping and spraying Febreeze everywhere today and who is not happy with the *$%# dog and if the freaking *$#& dog doesn't stop her whining and crying before she gets a bath and is allowed back in the house will pinch her stupid, shedding little head off??!!!