Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour....
My voice trailed off as P continued to stare blankly at me. "P", I asked her, "Have you ever seen the old TV show Gilligan's Island?"
She hadn't. I was appalled.
My poor child had no idea who the Skipper and Gilligan and the Professor were. She was clueless about Ginger and MaryAnne, and Mr. and Mrs. Howell.
I started thinking about how my children don't really have iconic shows that they grew up on like I did. I mean, do you really think that 30 years from now they will reminisce about The Suite Life of Zack and Cody or Hannah Montana?
God, I hope not.
I don't think Barney and Teletubbies will have the same nostalgic appeal as Romper Room and Captain Kangaroo and The Electric Company.
I began asking P about other classic shows...because I know she has seen some of them thanks to TVLand...
I asked her if she had ever seen Green Acres...
She replied, "Wasn't that my clubs routine song?"
My heart sank at the thought that that was the extent of her knowledge of Green Acres. She was right though - when she did rhythmic gymnastics back in the 2nd grade, her clubs routine was to the music of Green Acres (without lyrics, of course). Mr. Wonderful and I would always start singing the lyrics under our breath whenever we heard the music.
It's not a complete loss, however. My children (again, thanks to TVLand) have seen, and loved The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family and other staples of my childhood such as...
Still, they've never seen HR Pufnstuf, or The Sonny and Cher Show, or experienced ABC After School Specials.
They don't know Archie Bunker, so they don't know what I'm talking about when I say, "Stifle yourself, meathead!" Whenever I see a plane and say in a thick accent, "De plane, De plane!"...they just think that Mom is being weird again...they've never visited (through the magic of television) Fantasy Island. They have never taken a trip on The Love Boat...
This saddens me.
"Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you..."
I can trace my childhood through the television shows that were on. I hear the theme songs and am instantly transported back to that era.
My first "crushes" were all on TV...
Davy Jones...
Lil' Joe Cartwright...
Keith Partridge...
The Hardy Boys (especially Shawn Cassidy)
and the Battlestar Galactica dudes.
This poor deprived generation of kids...who is there for them to have crushes on?
Justin Bieber?
Ugh.
I learned how to deal with life from television. For instance, if one boy asks me out and then another one that I like more asks me out, I learned (in 30 minutes), that I should NEVER tell the first boy that "something suddenly came up"...because Marcia did that, and it didn't end well.
I know that magical personages (Samantha and Jeannie, for example) have evil cousins or twins who delight in stirring up trouble. And they usually wear dark wigs.
I learned the Preamble to the Constitution and parts of speech from Schoolhouse Rock.
Life lessons were learned from the ABC Afterschool Specials.
My mission now is to seek out DVD's of old television shows so my kids can have some frame of reference for when their parents start singing along to elevator music...
Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide.
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.
New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue....
or
Hey, Hey We're the Monkees......
or
Hey, Hey We're the Monkees......
