Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The one about the vegan vampire and the incredulous dad

Last night The Princess had a friend over. I made chicken tetrazzini and a big salad for dinner. I mention this because it's a nice normal type of dinner, right?

Sadly, that was the only normal part of our dinner.
The Princess and Martini had fun playing on photobooth.

We all sat down and were talking about the upcoming school year.  The Princess's friend, Martini (not her real name, but the name she picked for the blog) was telling us all about teachers at The Princess's future school and that she should never, ever refer to the theatre department as the drama department because it annoys the drama geeks to no end. The Boy told Martini about AP World History and the exam. We discussed the fact that girls outnumber boys at The Princess's future school by about 8 to 1. And THEN...for some strange reason, as it tends to do, the conversation veered off in a strange, strange direction.

The girls began telling Mr. Wonderful about the Twilight books and movies...

"It's basically about this girl who falls in love with her stalker."


"He basically, like, stalks her but he's a vampire.  Well...a vegetarian vampire."


"Well, yeah, because he doesn't drink human blood."


"Yeah and he SPARKLES. He's like a vegan vampire because he doesn't drink human blood because he is in love with the human, Bella. He likes to watch her sleep because he finds it interesting."


(The shock, dismay and disgust on his face at the concept of a vegetarian vampire made us all giggle.)

I interjected at this point with, "Doesn't he order pig blood online or something?"

"WHAT? NO!!!!"

"Oh. Oops. Wrong book."

At this point, Mr. Wonderful was shaking his head back and forth in disbelief and consternation.

"Seriously? THIS is what the bestseller books and multi-million dollar movies was about? You're joking, right?"

"Ummm, no."

"A wimpy, vegan vampire?"

"Who sparkles. Right."

"Wow. Aren't there any REAL vampires?"

"Oh sure. And a really hot werewolf, too."

Mr. Wonderful looked at me at this point and said, "Jeez. No wonder these kids are all screwed up..."

The girls hastened to assure Mr. Wonderful that THEY weren't obsessed like so many of the kids are. They found it ridiculous.

Although, perhaps not as ridiculous as Mr. Wonderful.

He is still shaking his head in absolute horror at the concept of a vegetarian vampire.

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