Here is what my day looked like:
6:00 am: I awaken abruptly, realizing that I have overslept. This is never a good way to start a day. I quickly guzzle down a cup of coffee, throw on some clothes and brush my teeth...
6:23 am: The kids grab backpacks and scramble into the car as I gulp down the last few drops of my coffee...
6:24 am: The Boy eats an apple as we back out of the garage...
And then grabs the paper (and continues eating his apple)
6:45 am: We drop The Boy off at school and hurry off to meet the carpool for The Princess...
7:03 am: The Princess yawns, stretches, and tries to wake herself up...
7:04 am: The morning carpool driver arrives and The Princess is off to school...
7:20 am: I'm home, just in time for the sunrise...
7:30: I need more coffee.
7:40 am: I read the paper and check email...and facebook...
8:15 am: I start some laundry and fold the clothes that have been sitting in a pile on the couch for two days...
9:00 am: I begin chopping vegetables for the beef stew...
9:30 am: Then I begin searing the meat to make The Pioneer Woman's beef stew with beer and paprika. Oil spatters everywhere.
10:00 am: I fruitlessly search through the house before realizing that we don't have any beef broth. I decide to use chicken broth instead. Then I fruitlessly search through the house again, this time for beer, before deciding to substitute wine.
10:15 am: I get the stew, including almost an entire bottle of wine (Hey - it's GOT to be good, right?), simmering on the stove...
10:30 am: I change the sheets on the bed and start another load of laundry.
10:45 am: I walk into the kid's rooms, then shriek in horror and run away!
10:53 am: The phone rings...answer the phone and talk to hubby for a while.
11:20 am: I finish cleaning the kitchen and start the dishwasher.
11:30 am: I start ironing clothes...
11:35 am: I realize that I haven't taken a shower yet. So I stop the dishwasher, shower, and then re-start the dishwasher.
12:00 pm: Vacuum house, sweep and mop kitchen floor....I continue to find oil splatters from the stew meat on every conceivable surface.
12:20 pm: I glance in the mirror and see that my hair is sticking up in every direction because I never dried it after shower. Re-wet hair and dry it. I decide to brush my teeth again, just in case.
12:30 pm: My tummy grumbles. I realize that I never had breakfast. I decide to eat lunch.
12:45 pm: Fold more laundry. Blah Blah Blah.
1:15 pm: Hop in the car to drive afternoon carpool pickup at The Princess's school...
2:00 pm: I arrive at the school in time for early dismissal. I wait for the kids to get to the car and check in with The Boy to make sure he got home OK. Then I read my Kindle.
2:20 pm: I wonder what is taking the kids so long. The bell rang 10 minutes ago. I feel a headache coming on....
2:30 pm: The kids arrive at the car, and we head home...
3:00 pm: Drop off the other carpool kids...
3:20 pm: Arrive home...The kids start on their homework...
4:15 pm: I hear a horrible, shrill, squawking sound and find this on the boathouse...
4:10 pm: The heron continues squawking and shrieking in a very annoying fashion. I tell the stupid bird to SHHHH .... He ignores me and continues making hideous noises.
4:15 pm: I take a photo of a flower. The annoying heron continues his raucous cacophony.
4:20 pm: The obnoxious heron finally flies away...still shrieking his hideous lament...
4:30 pm: I decide to take some Advil.
5:00 pm: I reminisce about a few days earlier when the kids were begging for bananas, "You never get us bananas, Mom!"
5:02 pm: I mumble under my breath about spoiled kids who don't eat the food I buy and then let things go to waste. I decide to make banana bread...
5:30 pm: The banana bread is in the oven...
5:35 pm: The phone rings...The Boy talks to his cousin...
6:00 pm: The stew is good. In fact, it's delicious. The wine was a fantastic addition.
6:25 pm: I ask the kids to empty the dishwasher.
6:35 pm: I ask the kids to empty the dishwasher. Again.
6:45 pm: The Princess empties half of the dishwasher. The Boy says, "I will. In a minute."
6:55 pm: I ask The Boy to finish emptying the dishwasher. I am sure that I had a "tone" in my voice to clue him in to the fact that I am quickly running out of patience....
7:05 pm: I walk into the kitchen to find that The Boy has still not emptied the dishwasher. I yell at him. He finally gets up and finishes emptying it, mumbling under his breath about how he was going to do it in just a minute and how impatient I am, etc.
7:06 pm: I ignore him. I decide that I shouldn't waste the little bit of wine that I didn't use in the stew.
7:10 pm: I enjoy the wine. I really do.
7:30 pm: The kids take showers while I pack the Princess's lunch and wipe down the counters in the kitchen.
7:45 pm: Jack starts walking around the house, whining pitifully. I tell him to be quiet. He ignores me.
8:00 pm: I wonder why I ever thought it was a good idea to have pets and I irritably tell the cat to SHUT UP for the love of all that's holy!
8:02 pm: I cry uncle and go feed the rotund, whining feline.
8:03 pm: The Boy is quizzing The Princess for her Biology test. I remember that there is still a load of sheets in the dryer and go fold them and put them away.
8:30 pm: I lock the doors and collapse into bed. Good night.
