Thursday, January 6, 2011

The one where the secret life of a domestic goddess is revealed. Yawn.

My day has been absolutely thrilling.

The dog is at the groomer today. They are giving her a bath and shaving her belly...because I am sick and tired of dog hair everywhere. Not that I think shaving her belly will really make a big difference, but I don't have the heart to shave ALL her fur off (since it's cold) and I figure that every little bit will help.

Anyway, to continue with the story of my scintillatingly exciting day, I am taking advantage of the fact that Lucy is not here to follow me from room to room by cleaning the house.

I know.  Woo Hoo, right?

But seriously, this house needs a thorough cleaning. I sweep and mop and  vacuum...but still, it just gets gross.This is what happens when your house is filled with two teenagers and a gazillion hairy pets.

Naturally, when I ventured back to no-mans-land aka the kid's bedrooms - I discovered a ton of dirty towels and rugs and clothes. So, once again, I am doing 5,487 loads of laundry. Shocking, hmmm?

I have spent the morning vacuuming behind furniture and under beds and discovering life forms that I did not know existed (and which shouldn't be existing in my house!) and grumbling and sweating. I have vanquished spiderwebs in corners and I have shampooed carpets and shaken out rugs. I have cleaned out drawers and hung up clothes. I have steam mopped the entire house and been disgusted anew by the foul nastiness that we have been living with. The bathrooms have been scrubbed and sanitized.

I have been astounded by the food items I have discovered hiding under my son's bed and in his bathroom. One would think we were starving the poor child based upon the food the sad little waif feels the need to hoard.  

The good news is that the house sparkles and gleams and smells divine.

The bad news is that the eldest, messiest, food-hoarding teen and the large, shedding canine will be returning home soon. Which means that it won't be long before my lovely, clean, sanitized home will return to the squalid, grimy, smelly abode it was this morning.

And that, frankly, is just depressing.

But anyway.

In other amazingly thrilling news, I think that our kitties need to go on a diet.    I believe it's time for some low calorie cat food for the felines.  They eat a lot.  All the time.  They just eat and eat and eat.  And then, when they run out of food they whine and meow demandingly and make pests of themselves. 

Jack, who is not even a year old, is becoming quite rotund.

See what I mean? He's a BIG boy!

And that's all I've got for you today.  It's sad, I know.  My life is so boring that all I have to report is that I cleaned the house and the cats are fat.

Calgon, take me away.

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