I wonder...

Dear Parents of Mean Girls,


I wonder...do you KNOW that your daughter is mean? Do you know that she is a bully? Your daughter beats up on other girls emotionally. She belittles, ignores and ridicules. When my daughter speaks to her, she rolls her eyes and makes rude comments. She goes out of her way to make my daughter feel that she is not welcome in her exalted little circle of friends.


I wonder...do you care? When you hear your daughter and her friends making fun of other girls - what do you do? 


I wonder about your family. I wonder if you eat meals together. I wonder if you have tried to teach your daughter to be kind to others or if you have indulged her at every turn and taught her to think that she is better than others. I wonder if you have conversations about those less fortunate than you. I wonder if you have taught her about compassion, kindness and grace. 


I suspect that you haven't.


I suspect that you have focused on buying her things and on success, at least as defined by material things. I doubt you are the type of parent who understands that sometimes more can be gained from a loss than a win. 


I wonder if has ever occurred to you that for all of your wealth and trappings of success, I pity you. I pity your daughter. Your child is mean. She doesn't seem like a happy person. She lacks compassion and empathy for others. She judges others by petty, immature standards. 


I would be ashamed if my daughter ever treated anyone the way your daughter does. I hope that she would never judge someone by the clothes they wear or what size they are or where they go to school or what kind of car they have. I hope my daughter is always as kind and caring as she is now. I am proud of my daughter - but not for her beauty or her talent or her intelligence, although she has been gifted in all these areas. I am proud of my daughter because she is kind to everyone. I am proud of her because she cares about those less fortunate than her. I'm proud of my daughter because she is compassionate, considerate, gracious, loving and polite.


I wonder what made your daughter so mean. I wonder where she learned that it doesn't matter what someone is like on the inside, only that they wear the right clothes or have the right purse or car or house. I wonder where she learned to make herself feel more important by sneering at others. 


I can only assume that she learned these things from you. 


I wonder...are you proud?


Sincerely,


The Parent of a generous and caring child who would never, EVER, treat your daughter the way your daughter treats mine.