Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fools

It is April Fool's Day today. I wanted to write a funny blog post filled with levity. I wanted to fool my kids with some some thoughtfully planned prank. I had high hopes for today.

But the week got away from me. I was busy and I am tired and I woke up this morning realizing that is April Fool's Day and that I've got nothing.


But then I realized that I did have something to talk about...some random strangeness from this past week which has just been bouncing around in my head with nowhere to go.

Strange bouncy thing #1:

I firmly believe that the area I live in northern Florida has THE WORST drivers in the state country world. Well, maybe Parisian drivers are worse (have you SEEN how they drive over there?) Anyway, the local drivers are terribly bad. They routinely run red lights...4-5 cars through a red light is common. I have, on more than one occasion when I have braked for a red light, had the car behind me honking their horn and gesturing wildly in frustration at my...caution? Safety? Drivers here are very aggressive and rarely use turn signals. It is quite frustrating!

But the other day The Boy and I were driving home from running errands on a major thoroughfare. Imagine this, if you will: a 6 lane road (3 lanes going in either direction.) I was in the far right lane and traffic was heavy. As I passed one of the ubiquitous strip malls which have been popping up like weeds in our little burg, the car in front of me stopped suddenly. A big ol' SUV was attempting to turn left in this heavy traffic and was blocking the right lane. Just sitting there. As we watched in astonishment, she (an older woman) inched out until she was blocking two lanes of traffic. Eventually, she inched into the third southbound lane on the which point she turned left and proceeded to drive NORTH IN THE SOUTHBOUND LANE!

The Boy and I gaped at each in astonishment, our jaws hanging open. This person wins the prize for the absolute worst driver I've ever seen. I never heard any sirens or sounds of crashing, so presumably the woman managed to get over to the official northbound lanes eventually.

Weird bouncy thing #2:

Then a couple of days later I read this story about the 17 year old girl who wanted her mother to cosign so she could get a car. When the mother said no, the girl returned home and pistol whipped her mother before returning with her mother to the car dealership (with the gun in her purse pointing at her mother) where her mother signed the papers.

The mother declined to press charges because her daughter had been accepted to an ivy league school.



I can't even think of anything else to say about this one except...WOW.

Weird bouncy thing #3:

And then I read another strange story about a woman who arrived at her sentencing hearing for forging drug prescriptions with a doctor's note requesting a delay in the proceedings. The doctor's note was forged.

I'm just speechless.

Weird bouncy thing #4:

This story about a raccoon who had his head caught in a peanut butter jar made me giggle and then immediately feel ashamed of myself, especially when I read the part about the neighborhood families being "delighted".  I've decided that this story, while certainly a bit weird, is also sad. And, yes, kinda funny too.

And now that I have cleared my brain of all these random, silly and bizarre things which have been bouncing around and tormenting me all week I feel much better. I feel more energetic. And maybe...a bit mischievous. It's not too late to pull a prank on my family, is it? 


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