Monday, October 3, 2011

Television may or may not have caused my Mad Cow Disease. Or maybe I'm just cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

There are times when I wonder if perhaps I watched a bit too much television as a child. You see, I often quote old television shows or commercials. They'll just pop into the conversation at odd times and then my children, the teens who are now so superior to me in every way (in their opinion, anyway!), look at me in bemusement and shake their heads in a condescending manner..."Jeesh. Mom's really lost it!"

A few days ago The Princess mentioned something about a girl in one of her dance classes whose hands are very stiff. She demonstrated to me and I said, "Oh - you mean that she has Hamburger Helper hands!" I started humming the Hamburger Helper jingle and The Princess looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. I had to turn to what has become a parenting resource - You Tube.

I've also, occasionally, been known to raise my kid's eyebrows by saying either, "Shazam Shazam Shazam" or "Surprise Surprise Surprise!"

(Gomer Pyle for all you youngsters!)

It's possible that I've also quoted Tattoo on occasion, "De plane, Boss, de plane!"
(Fantasy Island, for all the younguns)

And I may have suggested, perhaps to a certain mouthy feline, that he "Stifle himself." It's also possible that I referred to him as a meathead. And naturally, this was all said in my best Archie Bunker accent...
(Archie Bunker, from All in the Family for all the clueless young folks)

I may have also occasionally queried my children in the following way....

(Diff'rent Strokes)

Or, when they are acting all crazy and weird and teenager-ish, I might have burst out with...
(Sanford and Son. Classic television)

"Oh, it's the big one!"

Sometimes, when I walk into the kid's rooms and find Armageddon, I back out quickly saying, "I see NUTTING. I hear NUTTING. I know NUTTING!"
(Again, for the youngsters...Hogan's Heroes)

I can neither confirm nor deny that on occasion, when faced with a disgustingly dirty house and slovenly children, I may have blinked my eyes ostentatiously and then said sadly, "Oh Master...I've lost my powers."
(I dream of Jeannie - you MUST know that one!)

Of course, I would never dream of randomly bursting out with commercial jingles such as...

"Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz, Oh what a relief it is!"


"Takes a licking and keeps on ticking!"

or, heaven forbid...

"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun..."

My kids, the aforementioned teens, really think I've lost it when I perhaps, maybe, potentially, have done these things. It's strange how many commercial jingles and catch phrases from old television shows are still bouncing around in my brain. And yet, I can't seem to remember birthdays or appointments. I walk into the kitchen and forget what I went in for. I am scatterbrained. Or maybe it's Mad Cow Disease...

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