Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I am suffering from SMS - Suspicious Mom Syndrome.  You see, my son has been very, very good the past week or so.  Ergo, I am suspicious.  I didn't used to be like this.  Once upon a pre-hormonal-teenage-time, I took it for granted that my children would be nice, kind, helpful and polite.  But then the puberty monster hit. Don't get me wrong - Clay is still really a great kid, it's just that so often these days when he says "yes ma'am" it sounds slightly sarcastic.  Maybe it's just the constant smirk on his face, as though he finds his father and I so, so amusing.  Then there is the new phase of always trying to have the last word...and pushing his sister's buttons just to watch her lose her temper so that he can, again, put the ever constant adolescent smirk back on his face and feel superior.

This past weekend, one of my friends from high school came to visit with his family.  We were reminiscing and both of us said something about how easy it is, still, to be brought back to those high school days emotionally.  That feeling of not fitting in, of not being quite cool enough.  I know that some people look back on their high school years fondly, and wish they could go back.  Not me!  Uh Uh, no way.  I hated feeling insecure, and never being quite "it" enough.  I hated the gossip, and the pettiness of everything.  And I remember it SO WELL.  

My point is that I know what Clay is going through.  High school is HARD!  And these days?  With facebook, and texting, and cell phones?  Ugh.  

I wish my teenage son would (or could) believe me when I explain to him that these years are nothing!!  That when he gets to college, he will meet people who will really "get" him, and that he will begin to trust himself a bit more.  I wish I could tell him that his twenties are when he will really begin to know who he is - and to like himself!  I wish I could get him to understand that these awful years of trying to fit in and wear the "right" clothes, and have the "right" hairstyle, and listen to the "right" music, and have the "right" cell phone...or car...or address, are over so fast and are so unimportant.  I wish I could make this transition easier for him.  But I can't.

I heard this song on the radio the other day, and it expresses so perfectly the message I wish I could share with my children...

I've decided long ago
Never to walk on anyone's shadow
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I lived as I believed
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

In the meantime, I think I have figured out what has prompted his recent good behaviour:  It's fishing season.

Aaww...look who loves each other!!
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