Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The "F" Word

When The Boy was younger he wanted to be just like The Crocodile Hunter when he grew up. He watched every single episode and would fake-wrestle plastic alligators while saying things like, "Crikey!" and "Ain't she a beauty?!" in a heavy, faux-Australian accent.

(His faithful sidekick, The Princess, was always there, in her subdued, ladylike way, to help egg him on.)

When we moved to this house when he was 6, however, he changed his career goals. He caught his first fish and he started watching fishing shows on the weekends. He decided that was what he wanted to do when he grew up.

The Boy is addicted to fishing. If we let him, he would spend every single day on the dock. He never, ever, ever gets bored. He studies books about fish and can identify anything he catches. Although, If I'm honest, I sometimes suspect he might just make stuff up occasionally. He claims that he can tell what kind of fish it is by the air bubbles. Don't you think that sounds just a tad suspicious?

For a while, when he was about 7 or 8, he became a bit obsessive about the whole fishing thing. He drove us completely crazy with his constant nagging about being allowed to go fishing. 

"Mommy, can I go fish?"

"Daddy, wanna go fishing now? Huh?"

"How about now?"

It got so bad that we had to forbid him from saying "fish."

The poor boy was so addicted to fishing, that he found this restriction extremely difficult at times.

Once, Mr. Wonderful and our sweet little boy ran to the grocery store to pick up some milk and bread. As they were checking out, The Boy said loudly and with great pride in his voice, "Dad? Have you noticed? I haven't said the F word all day!"

Mr. Wonderful, who was a bit distracted as he was busy paying for the groceries, said, "Yes, son - good job."

The Boy responded, "I know, but Dad - ALL DAY! I haven't said the F word ALL DAY! Yesterday, I said the F word like 10 times. But today I haven't said the F word AT ALL! Don't you think that deserves a reward?"

Mr. Wonderful heard a gasp and glanced up to see horrified and aghast expressions on all of the customer's faces. Apparently, the F word means something else in other people's families!

Everyone looked quite relieved when Mr. Wonderful explained that the F word was fishing, NOT what they were thinking.
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