Sigh.
Isn't that the truth! I remember back when I was pregnant with Clay, and my biggest worry was changing diapers and getting enough sleep. Here we are 15 years later, and it occurs to me that it is all the stuff that comes after that is hard...the baby part is the easy part.
When I was pregnant, I never worried about potty training. And let me tell you, that was a huge issue! I seriously wondered if he would still be in pull-ups when he went off to college. I worried whether they made them big enough. When I was pregnant, I never worried about whether he would be sucking his thumb long after it was appropriate.
I never worried about him being bullied on the playground, about whether he would do his homework, whether he would wear his headgear once he was in braces, whether other children would make fun of him for not wearing the "cool" tennis shoes. I never once thought about whether he would keep his room clean, or do his homework. It never occurred to me to worry about drugs and alchohol, driving, and girls. I never worried about him taking hard enough classes and getting good enough grades to get into college.
Oh, the things I worry about now. It's just constant - e-mailing teachers, checking grades, nagging and nagging and nagging. I certainly never imagined that I would be the type of mother who nagged. And yet, I do. Constantly. I yell, too. I am on him about picking up his wet towels off the bathroom floor, doing a good job on his homework (as opposed to just rushing through it), about keeping his room clean, about eating healthy food, flossing his teeth, wearing his retainer, keeping his face clean so it won't break out, not teasing his sister, putting his clothes away, doing his chores, being respectful....and on and on and on.
I know I am a nag. I just can't seem to help it.
But the thing is....I worry about him. He is so smart, and I want him to do well. I want him to be happy.
But. You know, we must have done something right - because he is such a great kid. In so many ways.
He is polite. He is respectful. He is funny. He is smart. He is a good brother, protective of his sister (even though he teases her mercilessly). He is the kind of boy who will make a toasted cheesie for his friend. And his mother. He loves animals. He tries. He really does - but, he is a teenage boy. I need to learn to accept that. He would rather read a good book than play a video game. He would rather be outside fishing, or playing soccer, than inside watching tv. He still likes hanging out with his family. I don't know when that will change, but I know it will. I treasure that. He still gives his old mom hugs. He is precious.
Today I am going to try not to nag him (too much), but just to tell him I love him. The things I worry about the most are things I really can't do anything about. The things that are really important are already there. He is precious....and amazing....and smart....and handsome...and funny.
I love my son.
